Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
