just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
