i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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