youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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