its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
