Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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