Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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