id be glad to
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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