I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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