ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
