why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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