he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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