i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
