I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
