the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
