I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
