My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
