Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
