Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
