i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
