Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
