Acid is not a monday night drug
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
