wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
