Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
