I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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