So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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