he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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