Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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