You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
