And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
