Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
well you can't waste a boner
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
