I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
