So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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