That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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