having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
my poor anus
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
