at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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