did you get engaged???
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
