i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
