ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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