eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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