Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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