I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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