I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
