i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She's JV to your varsity
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
