My first STD was from a foam party
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
