Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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