do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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