I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
