i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
