My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Two words: blizzard sex
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
