she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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