I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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