I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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