The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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