I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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