why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
