Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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