i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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