he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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