I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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