and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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