in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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