like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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